Hi All,
I'm Survivor Sean. I survived the abuse of a Narcissist.
I started this website as therapy for myself. Not necessarily to come to terms with it, but to make others understand that people like this exist.
Nacissism is described as SELF LOVE. But, it's more than that. The Narcissist or as he will be called from now on "N" is an evil vampire, and will suck the lifeforce right out of you. After all is said and done, you will be dumped so callously, and he will go off with another as if you never existed. It happened to me....luckily I got wise to it, before it went too far. But I'm still asking myself "why."
My story begins by meeting a guy I wanted to hook up with for a long time. Ronnie was an elusive guy with an ex partner that wouldn't go away. Our schedules would never coordinate. However, this one-time it did. It was a cold rainy Friday night in October. We just meshed, or I thought we had. Unbeknownst to me, Ronnie was a Narcissist.
We agreed to meet the next Friday night. The sex was fantastic! There was a connection there that was both physical and spiritual. I had never felt SO connected to someone in my entire life. We met every Friday night into November. Ronnie was still living with his ex, in separate bedrooms. They were together for 10 years, 2 of which Ronnie admitted having "flings." He just got bored with the relationship. I have to say that Ronnie was lying to the ex about where he was spending his time. All red flags. It made me wonder what he'd say to me when I outlived my usefulness. I tried not to think about it. Why did he need to lie to the ex?....if he was just an ex. Why couldn't I go to his place? Why was I only allowed to see Ronnie when he came over to my house? Why couldn't I call him? All questions I should have asked before getting involved. I was too happy to see the inconsistencies.
I enjoyed being with him and began looking forward to our meetings. Ronnie then suggested that we meet the next night for a movie, again at my place. I happily agreed. Let's just say, we didn't watch the movie. But I didn't care. We talked and laughed and I felt bonded to Ronnie, like no other man I have ever known. I began falling for him, and he said it was mutual. Thursday was Thanksgiving, and I invited Ronnie to dinner. By then he was calling me nightly and telling me about his day. I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. I was surprised with roses. I was smitten. He began surprising me when I came home from work and sent me numerous emails during the course of the day. I loved it For the most part our dates consisted of either having sex or having Ronnie sitting on my sofa watching tv. He then announced that he wanted to change me. Yes, Ronnie was a control freak. A BIG trait of a narcissist.
A narcissist begins with over-powering you with attention. You will think you've found "THE ONE." He will be so attentive that he will be all that you think of ----how do you say MIND CONTROL. They have the act down to a science. You will become hooked in a very short span of time. You will be wined, dined and sixty nined....when he feels confident that you are in his power, then he will begin to pull away a little...striking some panic in you. Then you become obsessed and addicted. THAT'S when you become his prey.
The next weekend he invited me to a neighborhood social. I went, and he introduced me to all of his acquaintences. It was great! Next night he took me dancing. I felt like a "we." I hadn't felt like that in a long time. We were spending a lot of time together. The next Friday night was a Christmas concert and Ronnie invited me to go. We had a great time. I asked him if we could go dancing again on Saturday, he said "sure." He took me back to his place and I spent the night. Ronnie's house was immaculate. Everything had a place, there was no clutter anywhere. His bedroom was comfortable. He even had a shrine to himself set up facing his bed...a stereotypical narcissistic trait (they love themselves). Everything in the house pertained to him. There was nothing that had to do with the ex. It all represented Ronnie's taste. I didn't think anything of it. That night I told him that I loved him. We'd been dating a month and a half. I couldn't hold back. It was how I felt. That was the kiss of death. He said he couldn't say it back. I was disappointed...but I didn't press the issue. I fell for the act, hook, line and sinker. He knew it and was very pleased with himself.
Ok cut to the next night. I got all prepped to go dancing with my boyfriend. He came over and announced he was too tired to dance. I said I understood and we ended up watching tv. Ronnie stayed the night and left the next morning. He came over Sunday night and again, we just watched tv. N's will disappoint if something is not their idea. Nothing is more hated by the N than the sentence "I LOVE YOU". Narcissists see love as weakness. They hate being weak, and they hate and despise weak people. They do not tolerate what they consider to be stupidity, disease and dependence – and love seems to consist of all three. This is license to begin the emotional abuse.
I was getting a bit tired of watching tv. An N will mirror whatever they think you like and pretend to like it too, just to win you over. I know this sounds incredible, but it's true. The sex then began to go bad. I felt that Ronnie wasn't all there. Something was different that I couldn't put my finger on. He began to make jokes about my style of love making. Some of them really hurt. I thought it was his sense of humor. But, this is the way the mind control works. They isolate you until you are fully dependent on him emotionally, sexually, financially, and socially. I really was not dependent on him. I enjoyed his company, and thought he enjoyed mine. They proceed to make remarks to make you question your confidence. Once they've succeeded in breaking you down, they begin making you dependent on them. That's when they start taking "control" of your finances, your property, your possessions and your soul. You become THEIR property. I was always my own man. I knew when to draw the line. I started becoming astute to Ronnie's actions. When he got moody, I shut right down.
One Thursday night N came over and said he had a big surprise to tell me. He said he was going to give it to me for Christmas next week, but he couldn't wait. He said, I LOVE YOU. Wow, I was speechless. Oh boy!! Only a week and a half after I said it. I felt SO special....NOT!!! The N equates all emotions with weakness. But he had to say it to keep me interested. Even though he didn't mean it, it had to be said to keep me on the hook. This brings us to Saturday. It began snowing. N came over to watch tv as usual. The snowplows were out and the snow was really accumlating. He got a parking ticket. He was a bit pissed off because of it. I began to tread lightly as I knew he was in a foul mood. He made the 1st cutting comment to me, about something really trivial. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I asked him what was wrong....he said NOTHING abruptly. What happened to Mr. Nice Guy???
A narcissist will have two faces. One VERY nice, accomodating, kind and patient. The other is the REAL self---nasty, foul mouthed, cynical, jaded, totally opposite of the false self. Ronnie's mask slipped that night and I was shown the REAL him. They will show the false face or Mr. Nice Guy to rope you in. They use this to make you fall for them and promise you the world, while secretly planning to abandoned you. I was lucky, as his mask began to slip early. I caught glimpses of the REAL person and it wasn't nice. The false person is just that. A fake....an act. They say what you what to hear as bait.
The next night N was suppose to come over, he called and said he was tired. I knew he was having sex with someone else. It was just a gut instinct. My punishment for questioning him the previous night. He called on Monday and it was like a forced conversation. I was getting the impression he was losing interest. Which was fine, as so was I. Wednesday night he called, by then I was losing patience with the whole thing. I screened and didn't pick up. He called Thursday furious. I told him to come over so we could talk. He announced he really didn't love me, and we should start from scratch. We had sex that night, as a means to make up. I was demoted from boyfriend to booty call. He kept saying he was glad he came over and "talked"--- in other words, I'm glad I came over and got off !!! With him, it was all about the sex right from the start. The other stuff was just fluff. The boyfriend label he just invented to keep me interested. N's will change their mind to suit their mood. I just agreed that things were going too fast anyway. I just didn't want to deal with it at that moment.
Christmas was the next day and I was planning to visit family in out of state...I was REALLY looking forward to being away and having my space. I called N the next Wednesday to tell him I was on my way home, and he sounded VERY disinterested. I was confused and and a bit hurt, and just let it pass as I had a long drive ahead of me. I knew things weren't going well. I think that's the worst feeling in the world, when one knows the other is just faking it. But I had to be strong. I knew the end was inevitable. There was some survival instinct in me that told me to protect myself. I went into survival mode that night during my long drive. If the rug was going to be pulled out from under me, I had to be ready and not fall apart. Cut to New Year's Eve. He took me out to dinner (BIG SURPRISE) a public date. That night we had so/so sex, he kept wanting me to tell him I loved him, although I never heard it back, I acquiesed. An N's biggest fix!! They love to be adored!! I kept telling him what he wanted to hear over and over again, and he had a huge orgasm. I thought he just loved to hear ME say it to him. No, they will crave hearing it said....no matter who it is. Creepy stuff!!! I was a source of supply. My replacement was already picked out. I was needed until the replacement was cemented. I know this sounds paranoid. But narcissists all work the same way. In doing my research I discovered that everyone I spoke to had basically the same story...with minor variations.
I couldn't believe how attentive he was that weekend. It was like the beginning when he was kind and patient. I could feel something wasn't quite right. Doom was in the air. When an N is unfaithful, he makes up for it to get you off the track. Part of the mind games. I later learned he was having sex with my replacement while making time with me.
N was scheduled to go away with his best friend to Montreal. He came over the night before his departure for farewell sex. I thought it was pretty trusting of me to not say a word, as the best friend was a former bed mate. C'est la vie. N kept in contact everyday. When he returned, he was as cold and distant as ever. I didn't question anything, as I felt I'd sound insecure. So I kept my mouth shut and my ears open. I knew I wasn't long for the relationship. I felt as if I was being kept on ice. The whole thing was getting tedious,wondering when the ball was going to drop. This wasn't my idea of a healthy relationship, but no relationship with a narcissist ever is. It's always one sided. You love him....and he loves himself.
N came over on Friday night. I made hamburgers and fries. I was like Suzy Homemaker, making sure everything was perfect for my lord and master. I asked N if he wanted ketchup on his burger. He told me to leave him alone and that I was stalking him. I was both shocked and embarassed. Shocked as it was the second time he blew up, and embarassed because I thought I was being kind to him. I should have asked him to leave. But, I kept my mouth shut again. One doesn't want to anger a madman. So, N stayed the night. He fell asleep and I planned my escape. The next day was my birthday. I awoke to the silent treatment even after getting N off with multiple orgasms the night before....business as usual. I knew something was up...but what? N pinned me down, and starting tickling me after I told him not to. I asked him to stop and he wouldn't. Then he held his arms up and said "FINE, if you don't want me to touch you, I won't." N said Happy Birthday, and walked out the door.
A narcissist will use tickling as a form of abuse. It's no different than physical abuse. However, they will use this "harmless" fun to wear one down. They get off on it. It's control. N's hate happiness of any kind. They will ruin Christmas, your birthday, a vacation. WHY?? Because they can. They are emotional cripples with the mindset of a 5 year old. Selfish, spoiled and totally self centered.
That night, N invited me to dinner at his place, and a night on the town. As he was cooking dinner, I was talking to him, but was not getting any reply. The ole silent treatment once again. N then began telling me all the guys he knew that he thought were hot, and how he wanted to get them naked. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! We were watching tv after dinner, and N sneezed, I reached over and got him a tissue, and he said "you're trying WAY too hard." I must have looked confused, because he then said I was sulking. What a dick!!!!! We went out that night and N said about 3 words to me. It was like being with a stranger.
In bed that night, AGAIN, I got him off (I was getting good at it), and he rolled over and went to sleep. I didn't get any kind of stimulation whatsoever. I was angry to say the least. A narcissist believes he is entitled. They make the rules, they call the shots. They will withhold affection if they feel you're getting too close. You are nothing but a source to them. They love the admiration you have for them. Like vampires, once the supply ends, they go to the next victim...and the cycle begins again. They pretend to love, but they can't. Love scares them to death. Due to emotional problems or abuse that they suffered during this time, they've built a protective wall around themselves. They care nothing for you. You are an object, a plaything. Having that 5 year old emotional mind-set...you either play the game they've made up, or you will be discarded with no thought or motive....when they get tired of you. I caught on to the game and I was determined to leave first.
I went home the following morning. Still wondering what was up, I decided to let it go for now. That night N was suppose to come over. Instead I got a call saying he was too tired to come over. That really pissed me off, because we both had the next day off. I had chores to do anyway. I knew he was getting laid. Tired my ass. Cut to the next day, he called me at 6pm wanting to come over. So he came over with his harness on under his shirt. Mmmm, what's up with that??? I knew I was being played. A narcissist will then shift gears if he gets bored, will keep you as an alternate, then go after someone else, wining and dining them. You will then become secondary source. Good example: Think of the plate spinners at the circus, the performer tries keeping all of the plates spinning at the same time. If one falls, he lets it go, but tries maintaining all of the others. You can be one of many at the same time. I am not making this stuff up.
Next day I sent my usual "good morning" email and I got one line back saying how tired he is. Who cares. He was suppose to call me that night. It never arrived. Next night, I got a call. I screened. I didn't want to hear about it. Next day I got an email saying he hadn't heard from me. My patience had reached the end. For my own peace of mind I told we needed to let it end. I got an email stating I was dysfunctional.
I wondered for a few days if I really was dysfunctional. Had I imagined the whole thing. Was I obsessed? Love crazed? Naw, I don't think so. I credit myself as being a stable guy. I thought he felt the same way. I pride myself as being a good reader of people. He was a good liar. In a twisted way, Ronnie wanted me to break up with him. In doing so, he would come off as the nice guy and I would be the villain. He knew the snide comments and the no show dates would piss me off. He set the stage so I would react. He knew what buttons to push.
Our last talk face to face was scheduled for a weeknight. I missed him. I thought we could work things out. If we truly loved one another it could be. When he walked through the door I knew I wasn't going to like what I was going to hear. He blurted that he was dating someone else. My heart sank. But I managed to remain calm.
I'm Survivor Sean. I survived the abuse of a Narcissist.
I started this website as therapy for myself. Not necessarily to come to terms with it, but to make others understand that people like this exist.
Nacissism is described as SELF LOVE. But, it's more than that. The Narcissist or as he will be called from now on "N" is an evil vampire, and will suck the lifeforce right out of you. After all is said and done, you will be dumped so callously, and he will go off with another as if you never existed. It happened to me....luckily I got wise to it, before it went too far. But I'm still asking myself "why."
My story begins by meeting a guy I wanted to hook up with for a long time. Ronnie was an elusive guy with an ex partner that wouldn't go away. Our schedules would never coordinate. However, this one-time it did. It was a cold rainy Friday night in October. We just meshed, or I thought we had. Unbeknownst to me, Ronnie was a Narcissist.
We agreed to meet the next Friday night. The sex was fantastic! There was a connection there that was both physical and spiritual. I had never felt SO connected to someone in my entire life. We met every Friday night into November. Ronnie was still living with his ex, in separate bedrooms. They were together for 10 years, 2 of which Ronnie admitted having "flings." He just got bored with the relationship. I have to say that Ronnie was lying to the ex about where he was spending his time. All red flags. It made me wonder what he'd say to me when I outlived my usefulness. I tried not to think about it. Why did he need to lie to the ex?....if he was just an ex. Why couldn't I go to his place? Why was I only allowed to see Ronnie when he came over to my house? Why couldn't I call him? All questions I should have asked before getting involved. I was too happy to see the inconsistencies.
I enjoyed being with him and began looking forward to our meetings. Ronnie then suggested that we meet the next night for a movie, again at my place. I happily agreed. Let's just say, we didn't watch the movie. But I didn't care. We talked and laughed and I felt bonded to Ronnie, like no other man I have ever known. I began falling for him, and he said it was mutual. Thursday was Thanksgiving, and I invited Ronnie to dinner. By then he was calling me nightly and telling me about his day. I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. I was surprised with roses. I was smitten. He began surprising me when I came home from work and sent me numerous emails during the course of the day. I loved it For the most part our dates consisted of either having sex or having Ronnie sitting on my sofa watching tv. He then announced that he wanted to change me. Yes, Ronnie was a control freak. A BIG trait of a narcissist.
A narcissist begins with over-powering you with attention. You will think you've found "THE ONE." He will be so attentive that he will be all that you think of ----how do you say MIND CONTROL. They have the act down to a science. You will become hooked in a very short span of time. You will be wined, dined and sixty nined....when he feels confident that you are in his power, then he will begin to pull away a little...striking some panic in you. Then you become obsessed and addicted. THAT'S when you become his prey.
The next weekend he invited me to a neighborhood social. I went, and he introduced me to all of his acquaintences. It was great! Next night he took me dancing. I felt like a "we." I hadn't felt like that in a long time. We were spending a lot of time together. The next Friday night was a Christmas concert and Ronnie invited me to go. We had a great time. I asked him if we could go dancing again on Saturday, he said "sure." He took me back to his place and I spent the night. Ronnie's house was immaculate. Everything had a place, there was no clutter anywhere. His bedroom was comfortable. He even had a shrine to himself set up facing his bed...a stereotypical narcissistic trait (they love themselves). Everything in the house pertained to him. There was nothing that had to do with the ex. It all represented Ronnie's taste. I didn't think anything of it. That night I told him that I loved him. We'd been dating a month and a half. I couldn't hold back. It was how I felt. That was the kiss of death. He said he couldn't say it back. I was disappointed...but I didn't press the issue. I fell for the act, hook, line and sinker. He knew it and was very pleased with himself.
Ok cut to the next night. I got all prepped to go dancing with my boyfriend. He came over and announced he was too tired to dance. I said I understood and we ended up watching tv. Ronnie stayed the night and left the next morning. He came over Sunday night and again, we just watched tv. N's will disappoint if something is not their idea. Nothing is more hated by the N than the sentence "I LOVE YOU". Narcissists see love as weakness. They hate being weak, and they hate and despise weak people. They do not tolerate what they consider to be stupidity, disease and dependence – and love seems to consist of all three. This is license to begin the emotional abuse.
I was getting a bit tired of watching tv. An N will mirror whatever they think you like and pretend to like it too, just to win you over. I know this sounds incredible, but it's true. The sex then began to go bad. I felt that Ronnie wasn't all there. Something was different that I couldn't put my finger on. He began to make jokes about my style of love making. Some of them really hurt. I thought it was his sense of humor. But, this is the way the mind control works. They isolate you until you are fully dependent on him emotionally, sexually, financially, and socially. I really was not dependent on him. I enjoyed his company, and thought he enjoyed mine. They proceed to make remarks to make you question your confidence. Once they've succeeded in breaking you down, they begin making you dependent on them. That's when they start taking "control" of your finances, your property, your possessions and your soul. You become THEIR property. I was always my own man. I knew when to draw the line. I started becoming astute to Ronnie's actions. When he got moody, I shut right down.
One Thursday night N came over and said he had a big surprise to tell me. He said he was going to give it to me for Christmas next week, but he couldn't wait. He said, I LOVE YOU. Wow, I was speechless. Oh boy!! Only a week and a half after I said it. I felt SO special....NOT!!! The N equates all emotions with weakness. But he had to say it to keep me interested. Even though he didn't mean it, it had to be said to keep me on the hook. This brings us to Saturday. It began snowing. N came over to watch tv as usual. The snowplows were out and the snow was really accumlating. He got a parking ticket. He was a bit pissed off because of it. I began to tread lightly as I knew he was in a foul mood. He made the 1st cutting comment to me, about something really trivial. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I asked him what was wrong....he said NOTHING abruptly. What happened to Mr. Nice Guy???
A narcissist will have two faces. One VERY nice, accomodating, kind and patient. The other is the REAL self---nasty, foul mouthed, cynical, jaded, totally opposite of the false self. Ronnie's mask slipped that night and I was shown the REAL him. They will show the false face or Mr. Nice Guy to rope you in. They use this to make you fall for them and promise you the world, while secretly planning to abandoned you. I was lucky, as his mask began to slip early. I caught glimpses of the REAL person and it wasn't nice. The false person is just that. A fake....an act. They say what you what to hear as bait.
The next night N was suppose to come over, he called and said he was tired. I knew he was having sex with someone else. It was just a gut instinct. My punishment for questioning him the previous night. He called on Monday and it was like a forced conversation. I was getting the impression he was losing interest. Which was fine, as so was I. Wednesday night he called, by then I was losing patience with the whole thing. I screened and didn't pick up. He called Thursday furious. I told him to come over so we could talk. He announced he really didn't love me, and we should start from scratch. We had sex that night, as a means to make up. I was demoted from boyfriend to booty call. He kept saying he was glad he came over and "talked"--- in other words, I'm glad I came over and got off !!! With him, it was all about the sex right from the start. The other stuff was just fluff. The boyfriend label he just invented to keep me interested. N's will change their mind to suit their mood. I just agreed that things were going too fast anyway. I just didn't want to deal with it at that moment.
Christmas was the next day and I was planning to visit family in out of state...I was REALLY looking forward to being away and having my space. I called N the next Wednesday to tell him I was on my way home, and he sounded VERY disinterested. I was confused and and a bit hurt, and just let it pass as I had a long drive ahead of me. I knew things weren't going well. I think that's the worst feeling in the world, when one knows the other is just faking it. But I had to be strong. I knew the end was inevitable. There was some survival instinct in me that told me to protect myself. I went into survival mode that night during my long drive. If the rug was going to be pulled out from under me, I had to be ready and not fall apart. Cut to New Year's Eve. He took me out to dinner (BIG SURPRISE) a public date. That night we had so/so sex, he kept wanting me to tell him I loved him, although I never heard it back, I acquiesed. An N's biggest fix!! They love to be adored!! I kept telling him what he wanted to hear over and over again, and he had a huge orgasm. I thought he just loved to hear ME say it to him. No, they will crave hearing it said....no matter who it is. Creepy stuff!!! I was a source of supply. My replacement was already picked out. I was needed until the replacement was cemented. I know this sounds paranoid. But narcissists all work the same way. In doing my research I discovered that everyone I spoke to had basically the same story...with minor variations.
I couldn't believe how attentive he was that weekend. It was like the beginning when he was kind and patient. I could feel something wasn't quite right. Doom was in the air. When an N is unfaithful, he makes up for it to get you off the track. Part of the mind games. I later learned he was having sex with my replacement while making time with me.
N was scheduled to go away with his best friend to Montreal. He came over the night before his departure for farewell sex. I thought it was pretty trusting of me to not say a word, as the best friend was a former bed mate. C'est la vie. N kept in contact everyday. When he returned, he was as cold and distant as ever. I didn't question anything, as I felt I'd sound insecure. So I kept my mouth shut and my ears open. I knew I wasn't long for the relationship. I felt as if I was being kept on ice. The whole thing was getting tedious,wondering when the ball was going to drop. This wasn't my idea of a healthy relationship, but no relationship with a narcissist ever is. It's always one sided. You love him....and he loves himself.
N came over on Friday night. I made hamburgers and fries. I was like Suzy Homemaker, making sure everything was perfect for my lord and master. I asked N if he wanted ketchup on his burger. He told me to leave him alone and that I was stalking him. I was both shocked and embarassed. Shocked as it was the second time he blew up, and embarassed because I thought I was being kind to him. I should have asked him to leave. But, I kept my mouth shut again. One doesn't want to anger a madman. So, N stayed the night. He fell asleep and I planned my escape. The next day was my birthday. I awoke to the silent treatment even after getting N off with multiple orgasms the night before....business as usual. I knew something was up...but what? N pinned me down, and starting tickling me after I told him not to. I asked him to stop and he wouldn't. Then he held his arms up and said "FINE, if you don't want me to touch you, I won't." N said Happy Birthday, and walked out the door.
A narcissist will use tickling as a form of abuse. It's no different than physical abuse. However, they will use this "harmless" fun to wear one down. They get off on it. It's control. N's hate happiness of any kind. They will ruin Christmas, your birthday, a vacation. WHY?? Because they can. They are emotional cripples with the mindset of a 5 year old. Selfish, spoiled and totally self centered.
That night, N invited me to dinner at his place, and a night on the town. As he was cooking dinner, I was talking to him, but was not getting any reply. The ole silent treatment once again. N then began telling me all the guys he knew that he thought were hot, and how he wanted to get them naked. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! We were watching tv after dinner, and N sneezed, I reached over and got him a tissue, and he said "you're trying WAY too hard." I must have looked confused, because he then said I was sulking. What a dick!!!!! We went out that night and N said about 3 words to me. It was like being with a stranger.
In bed that night, AGAIN, I got him off (I was getting good at it), and he rolled over and went to sleep. I didn't get any kind of stimulation whatsoever. I was angry to say the least. A narcissist believes he is entitled. They make the rules, they call the shots. They will withhold affection if they feel you're getting too close. You are nothing but a source to them. They love the admiration you have for them. Like vampires, once the supply ends, they go to the next victim...and the cycle begins again. They pretend to love, but they can't. Love scares them to death. Due to emotional problems or abuse that they suffered during this time, they've built a protective wall around themselves. They care nothing for you. You are an object, a plaything. Having that 5 year old emotional mind-set...you either play the game they've made up, or you will be discarded with no thought or motive....when they get tired of you. I caught on to the game and I was determined to leave first.
I went home the following morning. Still wondering what was up, I decided to let it go for now. That night N was suppose to come over. Instead I got a call saying he was too tired to come over. That really pissed me off, because we both had the next day off. I had chores to do anyway. I knew he was getting laid. Tired my ass. Cut to the next day, he called me at 6pm wanting to come over. So he came over with his harness on under his shirt. Mmmm, what's up with that??? I knew I was being played. A narcissist will then shift gears if he gets bored, will keep you as an alternate, then go after someone else, wining and dining them. You will then become secondary source. Good example: Think of the plate spinners at the circus, the performer tries keeping all of the plates spinning at the same time. If one falls, he lets it go, but tries maintaining all of the others. You can be one of many at the same time. I am not making this stuff up.
Next day I sent my usual "good morning" email and I got one line back saying how tired he is. Who cares. He was suppose to call me that night. It never arrived. Next night, I got a call. I screened. I didn't want to hear about it. Next day I got an email saying he hadn't heard from me. My patience had reached the end. For my own peace of mind I told we needed to let it end. I got an email stating I was dysfunctional.
I wondered for a few days if I really was dysfunctional. Had I imagined the whole thing. Was I obsessed? Love crazed? Naw, I don't think so. I credit myself as being a stable guy. I thought he felt the same way. I pride myself as being a good reader of people. He was a good liar. In a twisted way, Ronnie wanted me to break up with him. In doing so, he would come off as the nice guy and I would be the villain. He knew the snide comments and the no show dates would piss me off. He set the stage so I would react. He knew what buttons to push.
Our last talk face to face was scheduled for a weeknight. I missed him. I thought we could work things out. If we truly loved one another it could be. When he walked through the door I knew I wasn't going to like what I was going to hear. He blurted that he was dating someone else. My heart sank. But I managed to remain calm.
